Don’t cry over ejaculated coconut milk. Today’s news comes from contributor Dan Mims, who covers a hilarious but telling incident where some Fox 5 Newscasters attempted to define “Milk”.

by contributor Dan Mims

Come for the fun verbal spaghetti, stay for the unintended implications.

The National Milk Producers Federation is appealing to the FDA to require that plant-based milk producers — those who make what is currently known as soy milk, rice milk, and almond milk — be disallowed from calling their products “milk.” They claim that only “mammalian lacteal secretions” should be called “milk.”

In the above video, the female anchor discussing this story verbally… ejaculates… that plant-based milk producers should use the word “jism” instead of “milk.” That’s pretty funny.

What’s even funnier is that mammalian lacteal secretions are no more appetizing than jism. Bodily fluids — yummy! Even better when they don’t come from our own species.

One can only hope that the NMPF continues to be honest about its product by continuing to use the term “mammalian lacteal secretions.” Soy/rice/almond milk producers, you now have your comeback.